I once read a quote from Ron Broussard: “Stretching is the act of doing something good for you and/or good for others, and it scares you.” I’ve read similar thoughts on “stretching” but his words captured my attention.

You may ask, what do fingers hurting have to do with this? I’m a fifty-something-year-old adult who has long lived with the desire to play the guitar. I’m not musical. My best attempt at anything musical is the occasional attempts at funny lyrics intended only for my family. Not too many years ago, I used an app that converted my singing into a rap song, and so I combined my lyrical “talents” into a rap song about my wife. The bottom line, I am not on the high end of the musical gift scale.

Back to the guitar. My family purchased me a guitar a while back. I got excited about it. I tuned it, read a few “how-to” manuals, and even did some YouTube lessons. In my excitement, I mentioned to a guitar music teacher my interest in hopes he would recognize my desire and make me his project. Instead of that reaction, he, in essence, said, “you’re too old.” It made me mad. Sometimes being mad makes me motivated. This time it made me lose all enthusiasm, and the guitar has been in the corner collecting dust. Perhaps I got scared.

In a recent leadership coaching session with a managing partner of a CPA firm, I realized the advice I was giving him was the advice I hadn’t provided myself. I relayed to him that, while it’s important to understand how others perceive you, don’t resign yourself to the limits others place on you. Be someone prone to achieve, not concede.

There it was, my own words telling me to dust off the guitar and “go for it.” I called the same instructor, acknowledged he thought I was “too old” but said I wanted to start with guitar lessons. He first pointed out his comments weren’t meant to be negative, he just wanted me to realize most non-musical “older” people have a hard time learning a musical instrument. But, if I were willing to be stretched, he was willing to help. I was/am nervous about it all.

My fingers hurt! Yep, you guessed it, I’m into guitar lessons, and I’m understanding the instructor’s warning. Not only is learning chords difficult for me, I never realized how painful my fingertips could get.

But, I’m going for it!

What about you? What are the areas for which you need to be stretched? Perhaps you took someone’s words as discouragement from attempting something difficult. Perhaps you tried something on your own and it wasn’t working. Perhaps others don’t understand why. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. There will always be plenty of perhaps.

We’re in February of 2021, what goals did you start the year with that have either not been attempted or for which you found accomplishing a frustrating experience. Are you conceding or are you stretching?

Here are some practical tips, based on your personality and support systems:

  • Be a goal setter.
  • Be specific about your goals.
  • Be realistic in both what goals you set and the need for flexibility.
  • Find an advisor or mentor who will offer advice and provide encouragement. This is often an “unofficial” role; it’s someone you trust and to whom you freely listen. Allow them to be your support.
  • Be a learner. Never stop reading, watching, and listening.
  • Be accountable. This looks different person-by-person, but it’s fundamental to your success. Suggestions I have:
    • Consider using a coach. I find that investing in a coach for yourself or your firm enhances your commitment to the process.
    • Don’t go “easy” on yourself. Stretching is not easy, so don’t make accountability easy either. What I mean is, don’t make it a regular check-in for a pat on the back. Think of it as a rigorous process that pushes you.
    • Just as the business world changes frequently, understand that your priorities and need for accountability change. Be sure what you develop is adaptable.
    • Leadership is about stretching. It’s about doing things uncomfortable and, at times, painful. Don’t concede… achieve.