Spouses Jane and Tom were sailing one day when a storm capsized their boat.
They feverishly tried to get the boat turned over but to no avail. In frustration and fear, Tom began to tell Jane how much he loved her, how he wished he’d been a better husband, and how much he enjoyed being a dad.
Looking into the distance, Jane could see a rescue boat coming their way, but she didn’t stop Tom from saying all the things he needed to get off his chest. Finally, just before the boats came into Tom’s view, Jane said, “You can stop now, Tom; we’re about to be rescued.” Tom offered no more personal reflections, of course, and certainly no promises as to the changes he would make.
What does this have to do with anything?
In a real way, when a crisis arises in our firm, some out of our control – the COVID pandemic for example – and some that we as leaders could have controlled, it can cause many to reflect on their shortcomings as a leader.
Why does it often take drama to drive introspection? Why do we have to feel helpless to become willing to accept help from others? Why does crisis often cause us to put aside our fears or embarrassment and instead focus on the task at hand?
Or maybe I should ask: Why is it that when the drama ends, we go back to business as usual and push aside the need to address the issues the crisis just revealed? Why do we quickly go from being open to help to “having it under control?”
In a unique way, each of us can answer that question. For some, it is the embarrassment of sharing our concerns with others…let’s call it “ego.” For others, it’s fear of accountability. For many, it’s a lack of knowledge as to from whom or where to get the help.
One of my former partners often said, “Hold the mirror in front of your face.” He would use that phrase whenever someone was looking for answers and needed a starting point. The thought was, let’s look at ourselves first. Some can hold that mirror themselves; many more need someone else to hold that mirror for them.
Whether you serve as a Managing Partner or CEO of a CPA firm or lead a region, office, industry, or service area, I challenge you to reflect on what you learned during a previous crisis. Put the mirror in front of your face and ask: “What did I do to get better, and who helped me get there?”
I recall my first significant mirror experience. I was far along in my career, had seen good success, had been a leader for a long time, but recognized I needed to be better. Even more, I wanted to be better, and I was willing to put my ego aside.
I hired a coach, shared my desire for improvement, and asked colleagues to provide feedback. I’ll never forget the call: “Gary, when can we meet? I need about two hours, and you’ll need to wear your ‘big boy pants!'”
The meeting was difficult, but I learned some of my most valuable leadership lessons. I learned people did care about my success. I learned little things such as my use of stories can be a distraction, my diplomatic nature could be viewed as “political,” and people need more transparency and sincerity…even though I thought I was providing both. I learned people genuinely appreciated my leadership but didn’t always feel comfortable sharing difficult feedback face-to-face. I could keep going…but the key is I learned a lot.
Suffice it to say, that was a defining moment for me—and, frankly, a career changer. I know one reason I chose the second career as a consultant and coach was because of this experience. It inspired me to help others “hold the mirror” and to do so in a way that motivates them to action. It certainly helps that I can truly say “been there, done that.”
As a leader, do you regularly look in the mirror during times of crisis? The question is: What will you do with the information you gain? The phrase “don’t let a crisis go to waste” is used in many ways…some good, some not so good. But as CPA leaders, let’s not let what we learn about ourselves go to waste!
Now’s the time for making plans for the future—figuring out how you’ll shift gears or pivot, how you’ll change for the better. And if you’re not sure exactly how, find someone to help you get started. You’ll never regret asking for help—but you might regret letting this opportunity pass you by.
